2020 happened hard and fast.
COVID-19 fucked some shit up, and everyone started to work remotely in March.
By the end of June 2020, my marriage was over, ended like a cancer that's detected three days before the afflicted dies. Infidelity is the worst. Infidelity is marriage cancer, for sure.
My grandpa died a month after my marriage imploded, and then I got COVID.
I did a spontaneous getaway with a friend from high school, and then came home and immediately started my first job as an elementary school teacher. 5th grade.
But COVID was still happening, and I was moved to 6th grade in a fully online model in early October.
I loved my 6th graders, and I will forever and always. They were the raddest.
I traveled some: Palm Springs, Winthrop, Lopez Island, Yachats, Leavenworth, Cabo San Lucas, Manzanita... and that took me through 8/2021. I still have the Gorge, Phoenix, Mexico (again. Mazatlan this time), and Disneyland to finish out 2021.
Divorce was finalized at the end of March 2021. I stayed in bed the entire weekend before it was final (I knew it was going to be final on Monday), and I cried hard when I got the final decree from my attorney.
Then I wiped my tears and pressed forward.
I started my master's program 3 days after the divorce was final, and I finished it in 4 months which is longer than it should have taken, but I went on a lot of vacations.
Today I bagged up a bunch of clothes that no longer fit me, and I bagged up my wedding dress, too. It's all going to Salvation Army tomorrow. It feels so good to not have that damn dress hanging in my closet anymore.
While I was going through my old clothes, I came across an old journal from 2003. It only had 2 entries in it, but they were good ones. An excerpt from the second entry:
February 11, 2003:
"I thought I would try to get into PLU, UPS , or St Martin's or T-ESC and get my teaching cert. Then I could sub for a few years or until I am ready for full-time. Or when Maya is ready. Debbie Shapiro, who teaches English at Stadium, says Tacoma School District pay is about $100/day for subs. That's not a heck of a lot of money, but it's a good second income. Wayne disagrees. He wants me to make $70-$80,000/yr on graduation. I don't know what I can do to earn that. It's an area of contention, so we kind of avoid the topic for now. I was mad at him for about a week, the last time we discussed it. I just don't have the energy to broach the topic. I have 2 qtrs of school left, so I need to figure something out."
17 years after that journal entry, I was hired as a teacher, and a week later, my marriage was over.
So awesome.
I've been through it this past year, but now I'm getting ready to start my second year of teaching with so many uncertainties (professionally), but I feel so much better, stronger, and happier than I've been in awhile. I didn't think I'd ever be happy again. Single sucks, though. I ain't gonna lie or make it seem like it's all kinds of awesome because it is not; however, there is a peace in not having a man in my life.
In FIVE days, I am moving my youngest daughter into her campus apartment, and I will be living alone for the first time in my entire life.
I hope I'll be okay.
I think I'll be okay.
I'll be okay.
